Ahead of the magical Walpurgis night, it is time to talk about hotly passionate topics and lift the shroud of secrecy on the sorcery of creating a happy relationship. Our blog guest this time is a woman whose entrepreneurial attitude and shining character have, as if by magic, led her to success in very different fields of life. Miina Kallikorm is a mother, sports enthusiast and entrepreneur, as well as the creator of the quickly trending Estonian erotic game Spark in the Dark.
In our newest blog post we talk to Miina about what makes this game so popular and find out about how playing with your partner can help raise the quality of your relationship. Very soon you will be able to try out Miina’s secret knowledge at home, because the new exclusive version of Spark in the Dark will become available at BonBon stores on Monday, 3 May. Besides the game talk, we ask Miina about her business experiences and her happy stable relationship, as here at BonBon we believe that the success stories of all women should be heard and all feminine wisdom should be shared with the world!
SPARK IN THE DARK HELPS SHOW YOUR TRUE DESIRES TO YOUR PARTNER
First we ask Miina what the mysterious game is all about and how the idea for it came to be. “The name of the game is actually personal,” Miina reveals, as in her relationship, the word “spark” was used as a code word to hint at sex in front of the children. “It sounded stylish and soft to me. Many of the sex games that can be found in erotic shops have quite unsavoury names. Spark in the Dark is acceptable to everyone.” Besides the name, the contents of the game have also been inspired by Miina’s own passionate experiences, which began with an e-mail that brought a lot of excitement to her relationship. “One time my husband had to be away from home on business for a few weeks. One night I received a surprising e-mail from him. Namely, my husband asked me to write down five sensual things that I desire most from him and which give me the most pleasure. Then I had to also note activities I would like to perform on him. A few days later a new e-mail came – this time with game instructions. When my husband came back home, the new game gave us a lot of joy for a long time and we were in awe of the realisation of how easy it is to make regular week nights memorable and incredibly passionate.”
Miina’s satisfying relationship and the newfound playfulness first began to pique the attention of her friends. In the end, curiosity around the game got so intense, she just had to share it with others. “After deciding that yes, now’s the time to share this game that has brought so much joy and freshness into our life, the whole process developed very quickly. There were only five months between the e-mail from my husband and holding the Spark in the Dark game box in my hands, actually.”
MORE ON THIS INTERESTING GAME
Pictured: The new exclusive version of Raspberry (Spark in the Dark- English version)
The game begins with a simple game of War. In the first round, the winner gets to pick one action card: for women, these are pink, and for men, black. Having picked the card, you have to read it out and set the stopwatch that comes with the game to 45 seconds, during which you can enjoy the activity you just heard. After that, a new round of War begins and the winner picks another activity card. The magic of the game is in the 45 second limits on all activities. “By the end you feel so fired up you don’t know what you might do!” Miina emphasises that it’s crucial to stick to this time limit to get the most pleasure. “The game can last hours and make you feel like you’re floating in some blissful paradise, under the spell of your lover and their euphoric touch.” With the game box set, you also get a deck of cards with unique images that symbolise various sexual positions. In case you don’t have the time for hours of luxuriating, you can simply explore the different positions on the cards.
Pictured: The new exclusive version
The exclusive game version that will soon be available at BonBon stores will also come with foreplay cards and eye masks. “Some couples need softer cards to warm up, others don’t. That way you can customise the game according to your needs and play it in many different ways. Especially important are the fantasy cards, on which you can write your own favourite activities. It’s a very safe way to hint to your partner what you really like in bed. We don’t always dare to say these things out loud, but once you’ve written your desire on a fantasy card, you can be sure that at some point, your partner will pull this card anyway. In my own relationship, too, this game has clearly brought out what my husband and I really enjoy. Enough humping in bed with no aim, that’s not pleasurable to anyone,” Miina laughs. The instructions also tell you to let your feelings fly and express all of your desires openly. The nearing magical Walpurgis night is an excellent time to experiment with your fantasies!
“Enough humping in bed with no aim, that’s not pleasurable to anyone!”
Pildil: Vaarikas mängu uue eksklusiivse versiooni fantaasiakaardid
SUCCESS DEPENDS ON ATTITUDE, NOT OTHERS’ APPROVAL
The game first hit the shops at the beginning of this year and became very popular very quickly thanks to its versatile and passionate content. Yet Miina’s successful undertakings don’t end with this game. She loves a challenge and has tried her hand at all kinds of different careers. “To me, success is not measured by the amount of money in my bank account. Your financial situation is an important indicator in life, but to me, real success comes from continuous development and accepting new challenges. I’ve noticed that a lot of people avoid trying new things. They prefer safe comforts and clear options. I myself am a huge experimenter. I don’t like that kind of thinking – oh, I’ve never tried this before, so I won’t do it. That’s exactly why you should do it – you’ll gain experience! Small successes will encourage you to try new things more willingly in the future.” Miina admits that creating a sex game also took a lot of courage from her, but she has definitely not had to regret it.
Another important measure of success for Miina is the ability to offer value to other people. “You shouldn’t do anything just for the sake of it or for show – like oh look, I can do it – but you should think about what kind of positive change your actions can bring. A sex game isn’t purely about sex, the aim is to bring closeness, playfulness, fun and quality time back into a relationship. That is my biggest motivation when working with PassionGames, but these values have been important to me long before creating Spark in the Dark. I have had very different careers in life, such as elderly care, running a children’s camp, offering a cleaning service, and much more. Behind all those undertakings has been the desire to offer something to people. Something that I am good at and through which I can bring value to the world.”
“You shouldn’t do anything just for the sake of it or for show – like oh look, I can do it – but you should think about what kind of positive change your actions can bring.”
Miina finds that many women are held back by the success-inhibiting question of what others will think of their decisions and career choices. “If I had lived with such a mindset, most things would have probably gone undone. I’ve always prescribed to the idea that if my gut feeling is right and I feel good, then I just have to do it! What my decisions will bring afterwards – well, I’ll deal with that later,” Miina laughs. She began her first company when one of her kids was 2 years old and the other only 3 months old. “I held my kids in my arms and asked myself what I really wanted to do. My time to stay at home with the kids was over and I understood that from then on, I wanted to be the master of my own time. I didn’t want my income to be dependent solely on how many hours I work each day. I wanted my income to be in correlation with the value of my work. Bringing the sex game to life was my first experience in creating a company. I have to admit that the question also went through my head – what will others think? But then I just decided, Miina – you’ve lived your whole life listening to yourself, why doubt now? Today I am super grateful that I didn’t let fear stop me from creating Spark in the Dark.” A helpful tip that helped Miina evaluate the value of her work was analysing the problems that arose. “If you do something with your heart, things will move easily. Yet if you have to force everything too much, you should ask yourself if you’re on the right path.”
“If you do something with your heart, things will move easily. Yet if you have to force everything too much, you should ask yourself if you’re on the right path.”
Miina dreams big in a bright yellow Cece supported bra and tangas
THE KEY TO A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP IS OPEN COMMUNICATION
Miina and her husband have not stopped playing the game and are continually updating it. Miina believes that many more special versions of Spark in the Dark will hit the shelves in the future. “To make a sex game with your husband – it makes for very interesting work meetings. When the game had just been released, we went to the spa for the weekend to try out in its new form. We had some paper and a pencil on the side at the same time, so we could take notes. At some point I was very mad and looking for the developer’s address as a joke so I could file a complaint,” Miina chuckles when thinking back to the creative process of the game. “In the new exclusive version of the game we have relied on our own as well as the clients’ experiences to bring in some updates. The game is also even more compact now; in its little silk bag you can discreetly take it with you anywhere.”
“In order to make the game even more enjoyable, we have had to talk a lot about sex and feelings with my husband. This has made us much closer. Sexual closeness is definitely important, but only after you can tell your partner about all of your desires and feelings without shame and embarrassment can sex become something completely different and more special. It’s a shame that many couples don’t ever open up to each other, despite being together for a long time.” Miina adds that physical intimacy is an open topic in her home, also when it comes to talking to the kids. “Of course we don’t tell them everything, but I believe that a healthy upbringing should not make sex a taboo topic. My husband and I also organise children’s camps and working with kids is a very important part of my life. When publishing Spark in the Dark, my biggest concern was the opinion of parents. I wondered if our camps would end now. But it turned out that many of the parents whose children come to our camps actually ordered the game and loved it. That was a huge relief for me! We joked that we could sell package deals now – the camp for kids and the game for parents. Everyone’s a winner.”
“Sexual closeness is definitely important, but only after you can tell your partner about all of your desires and feelings without shame and embarrassment can sex become something completely different and more special.”
Parenting can subtly hide the flame of passion necessary for a happy relationship. Miina is sure that for a happy family life, it’s not only important to find time for your kids, but also for your partner and most importantly yourself. “A previous long-term relationship of mine ended because we stopped finding time for each other. Now I know how important it is to plan time mindfully so you still have some time alone with your partner, especially if you have kids. And talking of course! You have to find the time to talk about problems as soon as they arise, not postpone the conversation and hide your feelings within.” According to Miina, her current relationship has also hit rough patches, but instead of ignoring problems, they have always searched for solutions. “At one point we went to family therapy, where we understood how many things we had left unspoken because we hadn’t dared to tell each other. Even small, everyday things. And of course the other half of the issue – once your partner does open up, you have to know how to listen. Women often don’t even expect their husbands to give them advice or tell them anything groundbreaking. It also helps to just put an arm around her and be there for your wife. You don’t need to do more than be properly present in that moment when either of you is having a hard time.”
Miina shines in the Pamela royal blue long-sleeved bodysuit
TIME INVESTED IN YOURSELF ENRICHES YOUR LIFE
Besides therapy, Miina recommends exploring your sexuality through workshops. “Sometimes women don’t even know what they like. If you’re clueless yourself, it’s very hard to communicate your wishes to your partner. About 5-6 years ago I took part in Epp Kärsin’s workshops and the knowledge I got from there put me at the beginning of a very important path. This is knowledge that isn’t taught anywhere else. That’s why I believe it’s never too late to add to your knowledge through workshops. I remember also going to a Lingam massage training session. That took our relationship to a completely new level! My husband was so thrilled he went to learn Yoni massage right away.” Miina’s long-term relationship has taught her that developing a relationship and sexual exploration have no limits. There is only constant practice and new experiences.
“These days there are so many options with which to freshen up a relationship. Don’t be afraid to try different sex toys or hot wax, for example. You can order everything online discreetly. I remember the first time I went to an erotic shop, it was cold and unwelcoming and that place definitely didn’t make me feel sexy. But times have changed and besides online stores, there are now many cool physical sex shops where the staff communicate openly and in friendly way and that are truly enjoyable to visit. That way you can open up and lose the awkwardness. I recommend starting by even just buying sexy lingerie that you wouldn’t try on otherwise. I really want to stress to women not to be afraid to experiment and discover new things. And saying “oh I don’t have the time”... If you can’t find time for yourself, then what can you find it for at all? Don’t hide behind that excuse, you have to set your priorities straight and plan your time accordingly.” A wide array of sex toys and other bedroom toys can be found in our shops in the Ülemiste and Nautica shopping centres. We sell things like vibrators, pleasure eggs, ticklers, massage oils and Miina’s favourite lingam massage sets.
“Developing a relationship and sexual exploration have no limits. There is only constant practice and new experiences.”
Besides overcoming yourself mentally, Miina also emphasises attention to your physical health, especially after having kids. Miina knows that lifestyle and daily habits affect our wellbeing a lot, and that also affects the mood of the family. “Besides your daily tasks, you shouldn’t forget the importance of physical activity, eating and sleep. It’s natural that becoming a mother changes your weight and body. But it’s important that you feel at ease and happy when looking in the mirror. I gained 26 kilograms with my first child, but I can honestly say that at that time, I really liked myself. Many are not happy with their appearance, but don’t do anything to change it, either. Unfortunately you can’t live a confident and happy life like that. I fully believe that there is no point in wasting time on whining and constantly telling yourself everything that’s wrong and bad without changing anything in your lifestyle at that. It’s not always easy, but if you take care of yourself, motherhood or bodily changes won’t rob you of your inner and outer sexiness. Sexiness is defined by how you feel in your body. How is your physical activity and mental health and who are the people you surround yourself with – do they inspire you or rather pull you down? All of these aspects have to be kept in mind constantly in order to not let your quality of life drop.”
“Sexiness is defined by how you feel in your body. How is your physical activity and mental health and who are the people you surround yourself with?”
Miina feels most sexy in a Cece supported bra and tangas
ON THE DOORSTEP OF A NEW RELATIONSHIP: DON’T BE AFRAID TO EXPERIMENT!
Of course, uncertainties and relationship problems don’t only bother couples who have been together for a while or just had a baby – they can also daunt new relationships. “For new couples, I want to stress not to hurry. Getting to know each other is an exciting time and you should enjoy it. I can tell from experience that the intimate life that my husband and I had at the beginning of our relationship was definitely not what we have today. A relationship is always changing. The sparks and trembles of the beginning create the basis for future development. For that development to bring you closer to each other it is important to express your desires and needs as early as possible. I recommend new couples start Spark in the Dark precisely from the fantasy cards, writing down your favourite activities and trying out your partner’s ones. And women — don’t be afraid to take initiative when it comes to physical contact! You have exactly the same right to be the igniting power and dominate in bed as the man. And usually this is a positive surprise for the man, too.”
Besides the fantasy cards, Miina recommends experimenting with nudity and lingerie, to make the game even more interesting. “I like starting the game in lingerie. It adds mystery and comfort, you don’t have to be naked right away. Of course you can do it the other way around, the experiences will just be different. More than anything else I love open lingerie, where the sexy cuts already get me ready me for special experiences. My husband also loves open cuts. His eyes are like he’s bewitched every time! You shouldn’t underestimate the power of lingerie in creating a sexy feeling. When I wear nice lingerie, even if I cover it with clothes, I still feel my back straighten up and my mood lift noticeably. But when I wear some old, ragged underwear, I definitely don’t get that feeling. Sexy lingerie is modern witchcraft and the best spell for confidence! With BonBon it’s easy – whatever you choose will be comfortable and pretty. The materials are high quality, you won’t need to adjust or scratch anything. Beauty in harmony with comfort. And if a woman feels comfortable in her body, her partner will also notice it. Confidence is an incredibly charming characteristic!”
Pictured: The new exclusive game version available at BonBon Lingerie stores from 3 May.
The BonBon team wishes all the best to Miina and lots of success in her worthwhile endeavours!!
The new exclusive game will hit BonBon Lingerie’s shelves very soon.2021.
Pictured: The new exclusive game version available at BonBon Lingerie stores from 3 May.